Bereavement counselling is a form of professional support that helps you navigate the pain of losing someone important. It offers a safe, confidential space to talk about the person who died, your feelings and the changes you’re facing. The aim isn’t to “get over it”, but to understand your grief, find steadier ways to cope day to day, and begin to rebuild life around your loss.
This article explains who might benefit and when to seek support, what typically happens in sessions, and what counsellors can and cannot help with. You’ll find the potential benefits, other types of grief support, and clear routes to access bereavement counselling across the UK, whether through the NHS, charities or private therapists. We also cover choosing the right counsellor, support for children and young people, and urgent help if you’re struggling. First, who might benefit.
Who might benefit and when to seek support
Grief is personal and there’s no set timetable, but bereavement counselling can help when your loss feels too heavy to carry alone. It’s especially useful if you’d value a confidential space with someone neutral, or if friends and family support isn’t available or doesn’t feel enough right now.
- Daily life feels unmanageable: intense emotions or distress are making it hard to work, care for yourself, or keep routines.
- Low mood persists: you’ve felt down, anxious or withdrawn for more than two weeks despite trying to help yourself.
- Feeling stuck months on: trouble accepting the death, spending a lot of time thinking about the person, or not returning to usual activities.
- Sudden or traumatic loss: a death that was unexpected or traumatic can increase the need for specialist support.
- Prefer a neutral professional: you want someone outside your circle to listen and help make sense of feelings.
- You want coping strategies: support to understand grief and develop practical ways to manage day to day.
If you need urgent help
If you’re in crisis or worried you can’t keep yourself safe, please seek help now. You don’t have to face this alone and support is available 24/7.
- Call 999 or go to A&E now if you or someone else is in immediate danger, or if you’ve seriously harmed yourself.
- For urgent help that isn’t an emergency, call NHS 111 or ask your GP for an urgent appointment.
- For 24/7 confidential emotional support, call Samaritans on 116 123.
What happens in bereavement counselling sessions
Your first bereavement counselling session is a gentle start. You’ll talk through what brought you there, the person who died, and what feels hardest right now. The counsellor explains confidentiality and agrees what you’d like from support, then works at your pace — there’s no pressure to share more than you want.
- Tell your story: talk about the person, the circumstances of the death and how life has changed.
- Explore feelings safely: name emotions like sadness, anger, guilt or numbness and make sense of them.
- Understand grief responses: learn what’s normal and why reactions can come in waves.
- Build coping strategies: try practical tools for sleep, anxiety, difficult days and conversations.
- Plan small next steps: agree gentle actions between sessions if helpful.
- Prepare for triggers: think ahead to anniversaries, reminders and tricky moments.
Sessions can be in person, by phone or video depending on the service. Some support is short term and focused; others offer more time. The aim is to help you understand your grief and begin adapting to life without the person who died.
What counsellors can and cannot help with
Knowing what bereavement counselling is — and isn’t — helps you choose the right support. Counsellors provide a safe, confidential space to talk about the person who died, make sense of powerful emotions, and develop steadier ways to cope. They do not replace medical care or fix practical problems, but they can sit alongside other services.
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What counsellors can help with: exploring feelings and thoughts; understanding grief responses; developing coping strategies for sleep, anxiety and difficult days; planning for triggers and anniversaries; improving your understanding of yourself and relationships; gently rebuilding routines and confidence.
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What counsellors cannot help with: prescribing medication; solving practical issues like finances or housing; providing medical or condition-specific advice unless part of a specialised service; offering immediate crisis support — if you’re at risk, use emergency services as outlined above.
Benefits you may notice over time
Bereavement counselling isn’t a quick fix; it helps you make steady, manageable changes. There’s no set timetable, and progress can ebb and flow. But as you understand your grief and practise new coping strategies, many people notice small shifts that make daily life feel more doable and less overwhelming.
- Clearer understanding: language for difficult feelings and what triggers them.
- Less intensity: waves of emotion feel shorter or easier to ride.
- More stability: routines return and day‑to‑day tasks feel achievable.
- Healthier coping: choosing support over avoidance, alcohol or overwork.
- Better communication: improved conversations with friends, family and at work.
- Preparedness: plans for anniversaries and other grief triggers.
- Adaptation: growing ability to live alongside the loss you’ve experienced.
Types of grief support beyond counselling
Not everyone needs formal bereavement counselling. Many people find steady ground through simple, human support that’s easy to access and repeat when needed. Mixing a few of the options below can give you day‑to‑day comfort, practical tips and a sense that you’re not carrying this alone.
- Helplines: Cruse Bereavement Support offers confidential listening and guidance on 0808 808 1677.
- Volunteer phone support: The Marie Curie Bereavement Support Service provides regular, non-counselling calls with trained volunteers.
- Peer and group support: Local groups and online spaces help you share with others who “get it” (for example, Sue Ryder’s online bereavement community).
- Hospice and charity services: Many hospices offer bereavement support for families and close friends.
- Self-help tools: NHS mental wellbeing audio guides and reputable grief information can help with sleep, anxiety and low mood between conversations.
How to access bereavement counselling in the UK
There isn’t one single route to bereavement counselling in the UK, and what’s available can vary by area. Start with the option that feels most accessible now, knowing you can combine services over time. Sessions may be in person, by phone or via video depending on the provider.
- Speak to your GP: They can assess how you’re coping, refer you on, and signpost local counselling and support groups.
- Self‑refer to NHS Talking Therapies: If low mood, anxiety or sleep problems are significant, you can refer yourself for free talking therapies.
- Through a hospice: Many hospices (including Marie Curie) offer bereavement support for families and close friends of people who received hospice care.
- Employer assistance: Check if your workplace has an Employee Assistance Programme offering short‑term counselling sessions.
- Charities and helplines: Cruse provides sessions with trained bereavement volunteers; Sue Ryder offers time‑limited online bereavement counselling.
- Private counsellors: Find a registered counsellor or psychotherapist (for example, via the BACP). Costs vary; many offer phone/video options and a brief introductory call.
If you’re considering private support, the next section can help you choose a counsellor who fits your needs.
How to choose a counsellor that’s right for you
The “right” bereavement counsellor is someone you feel safe with and who has the skills to support your kind of loss. A brief introductory call can help you sense fit before committing. Trust your instincts: it’s normal to try one or two people before you find a good match, and you’re allowed to change if it doesn’t feel helpful.
- Qualifications and registration: look for membership of a professional body (e.g., BACP) and clear training in counselling.
- Relevant experience: ask about experience with bereavement, including sudden or traumatic loss if that’s your situation.
- Approach and style: check how they work (for example, grief-focused counselling, CBT or IPT) and whether it suits you.
- Practicalities: location or remote options, accessibility, availability, and expected waiting times.
- Boundaries and safety: clarity on confidentiality, safeguarding and how they respond if someone is at risk.
- Fees and policies: transparent costs, session length and cancellation terms.
- First session feel: do you feel heard and understood? If not, it’s okay to try someone else.
If you’re supporting a child or young person
Children and teenagers often grieve in short bursts — playing or studying between waves of sadness — and they may revisit grief as they grow. Offer calm honesty in age‑appropriate language, reassure them they are not to blame, and keep predictable routines. Let them see that feelings are allowed, and that support is there whenever they need it.
- Answer simply: respond to questions clearly, using words they understand.
- Name feelings: normalise sadness, anger, worry and confusion.
- Keep routines: familiar structure and boundaries help them feel safe.
- Offer choices: involve them in goodbyes or memorials if they want, without pressure.
If they’re very withdrawn, anxious or struggling for weeks, tell school or clubs and speak to your GP, a hospice or a bereavement charity about child‑focused support.
Direct cremation and grief: creating space to grieve your way
An unattended direct cremation can reduce pressure at an already overwhelming time. Without the fixed date of a formal ceremony, you have breathing space to focus on immediate needs, draw on bereavement counselling if helpful, and plan a farewell that fits you and your family.
Many people choose a simple, private cremation and then hold a personal memorial later — a quiet gathering at home, a walk at a favourite place, or a celebration of life when you feel ready. It can be kinder on costs and logistics, while still honouring the person with dignity and care.
Final thoughts
Grief changes shape over time, and support can help you carry it with more steadiness. Whether you choose counselling, a helpline, peer support or a mix, the right help is the one you’ll use. If you’re planning a farewell, a simple direct cremation can ease pressure now and give you space to remember in your own way, when you’re ready. For a dignified, cost‑effective option handled with care, learn more about Go Direct Cremations and how we can support you alongside your grief journey.