What Helps With Grief? Ways To Cope, Heal & Find Support

Grief hits hard. Your world shifts when someone you love dies. You wake up and remember all over again. Tasks feel impossible. People say things that don’t help. You wonder if what you’re feeling is normal, and you wonder how to get through each day.

There are ways to cope that actually help. Simple actions can ease the weight, even when nothing fixes the loss itself. Understanding what grief does to you, taking care of your body, connecting with others who understand, and knowing where to find extra support can make the difference between struggling alone and finding your way forward.

This guide walks you through practical steps to help you cope with grief. You’ll learn what grief is and why it feels so overwhelming, how to support yourself physically and emotionally, where to find human connection when you need it most, and when to seek professional help. Each section offers real tools you can use today, not empty advice that sounds good but doesn’t work.

What grief is and why it feels so overwhelming

Grief is your natural response to loss. Your body, mind, and emotions react when someone or something important to you disappears from your life. Death of a loved one triggers the most intense grief, but you can also grieve relationships that end, jobs you lose, health that declines, or dreams that die. What matters is that the loss holds meaning for you, not whether others think it deserves grief.

The physical and emotional reality of grief

Your body responds to grief as if you’re under threat. Sleep becomes difficult, food loses appeal, and concentration vanishes when you need it most. You might feel exhausted yet unable to rest, or find yourself crying without warning in places you’d normally keep composed. Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach troubles, or a tight chest often accompany the emotional pain, making grief feel like an illness that takes over your whole system.

Emotions arrive in waves that change without pattern. Shock and numbness protect you at first, making everything feel unreal. Then sadness crashes in, so deep you wonder how you’ll survive it. Anger flares at unexpected targets. Guilt whispers that you should have done more. Fear about facing life without your loved one keeps you awake at night. Understanding what helps with grief starts with accepting that all these reactions are normal, not signs that something is wrong with you or your grieving process.

Grief is not a problem to solve or an emotion to suppress. It’s the price we pay for love and connection.

Why grief disrupts everything

Grief touches every part of your daily existence. Simple tasks become complicated when you’re operating through a fog of loss. Decisions that once took seconds now require effort you don’t have. Your routine shatters because the person you lost was part of that routine, or because grief makes following any schedule feel impossible. Social interactions grow awkward as people don’t know what to say, and you don’t have energy to help them feel comfortable.

The disruption goes deeper than logistics. Grief challenges your sense of safety in the world and your beliefs about how life works. Questions about meaning, fairness, and your own mortality surface when you least want to face them. Your identity shifts because you defined yourself partly through your relationship with the person who died. These existential changes layer on top of the practical chaos, creating an overwhelming experience that affects how you function, connect with others, and see your future.

Step 1. Understand your own grieving process

Learning what helps with grief starts with accepting that your experience is unique. No book, friend, or expert can tell you exactly how your grief should look or how long it should last. Your relationship with the person who died, your personality, your past experiences with loss, and your current life circumstances all shape how grief shows up for you. What works for someone else might not work for you, and that’s perfectly normal.

There’s no timeline or wrong way to grieve

You’ll hear people talk about grief having stages or phases, but real grief rarely follows neat patterns. The five stages model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) describes emotions many people experience, but you don’t move through them in order like climbing stairs. You might feel several emotions at once, skip some entirely, or circle back to feelings you thought you’d moved past. Some people feel better within months whilst others take years to find their footing again.

Complicated grief affects some people who find their pain remains intense and disabling long after the loss. If grief keeps you stuck for over six months and prevents you from returning to daily activities, accepting the death, or finding any moments of peace, you may need extra support. This isn’t a personal failing. Sudden deaths, traumatic circumstances, or losing someone you depended on heavily can all contribute to prolonged, complicated grief that benefits from professional help.

Your grief belongs to you. Nobody else can measure or judge it.

Recognise your emotions without judging them

Identifying what you’re feeling helps you cope with those feelings rather than letting them control you. Grief brings a complicated mix that changes throughout the day. You might notice:

• Guilt about things you said or didn’t say, did or didn’t do
• Relief if the person suffered, followed by guilt about feeling relieved
• Anger at doctors, family members, yourself, or even the person who died
• Fear about your own mortality or facing life alone
• Numbness that makes you wonder if you’re grieving properly
• Intense sadness that arrives in waves when you least expect it

None of these emotions means something is wrong with you. Allow yourself to feel without criticism. When you notice guilt, acknowledge it instead of fighting it. When anger surfaces, let it exist without immediately trying to fix or eliminate it. This doesn’t mean dwelling on difficult emotions forever, but acceptance comes before healing. Fighting your feelings or telling yourself you shouldn’t feel a certain way only adds suffering to an already painful experience.

Step 2. Support your body and daily routine

Your physical health directly affects your emotional capacity to cope with grief. When you neglect your body, grief becomes harder to manage. Sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, and lack of movement amplify emotional pain and make even basic tasks feel overwhelming. Taking care of your physical needs doesn’t fix grief, but it gives you strength to carry the weight of loss and helps your brain process what’s happened.

Protect your sleep even when rest feels impossible

Sleep often escapes you when grief takes hold, yet your body desperately needs it to function. Your mind races at bedtime, replaying memories or worrying about the future. You might wake repeatedly during the night or too early in the morning, unable to fall back asleep. These disruptions are normal grief responses, but chronic sleep deprivation makes everything worse.

Create a simple evening routine that signals your body it’s time to rest. Turn off screens an hour before bed. Keep your bedroom cool and dark. If your mind won’t settle, try reading something light, listening to calm music, or using a meditation app. When you wake at 3am with racing thoughts, get up and do something quiet in low light rather than lying in bed struggling. Return to bed when you feel drowsy again. Avoid checking the time repeatedly, which only increases anxiety about not sleeping.

Rest doesn’t erase grief, but exhaustion makes grief unbearable.

Eat to support your body through stress

Food loses its appeal when you’re grieving. You forget to eat, can’t taste anything, or reach for quick comfort foods that leave you feeling worse. Grief puts your body under tremendous stress, and proper nutrition helps you maintain basic functioning during this difficult time.

Keep simple, nourishing foods ready that require minimal preparation. Stock items like bananas, yoghurt, nuts, cheese, crackers, tinned soup, and pre-cut vegetables. Ask friends who want to help to bring meals you can freeze. Set phone reminders to eat at regular times if you forget. Drink water throughout the day, as dehydration worsens fatigue and concentration problems. If eating feels overwhelming, focus on small amounts several times daily rather than full meals.

Move your body in small, manageable ways

Gentle movement helps when you’re exploring what helps with grief physically. Exercise releases chemicals that improve mood and sleep, reduces physical tension that grief creates, and gives you brief mental relief from constant thoughts about your loss. You don’t need intense workouts. Small amounts of movement provide real benefits without adding pressure to an already difficult time.

Start with a 10-minute walk outside if you can manage it. Natural light helps regulate sleep patterns and mood. Stretch gently when you wake or before bed. Try simple yoga videos designed for beginners if that appeals to you. Dance to music you love in your living room. Garden, clean, or do other physical activities at your own pace. Any movement counts, and you can stop whenever you need to. Physical activity works best when it feels manageable rather than like another obligation you can’t meet.

Step 3. Reach out for human connection and support

Isolation makes grief harder to bear, yet grief often pushes you to withdraw from others. You might feel like nobody understands, or worry about burdening people with your pain, or simply lack the energy to interact. However, human connection remains one of the most powerful tools for coping with loss. You don’t need to talk about your grief every moment, but spending time with people who care about you provides comfort and reminds you that you’re not alone in this experience.

Talk to people who understand your loss

Friends and family who knew the person who died can offer unique support because they share your loss. They remember stories you’ve forgotten, laugh at the same memories, and understand the specific hole this death left in your life. Reach out to these people even when it feels difficult. Send a simple message saying "I’m struggling today and need to talk" or "Can we meet for coffee? I need company." Most people want to help but don’t know what you need.

Tell people directly how they can support you. Instead of waiting for others to guess, try phrases like: "I need you to listen without trying to fix anything," "Please tell me stories about them," "I need distraction, can we watch a film together?" or "Just sit with me whilst I cry." Being specific removes the awkwardness that prevents people from reaching out, and it ensures you get the type of support that actually helps rather than well-meaning gestures that miss the mark.

Grief shared is grief that becomes slightly more bearable.

Find structured support through groups or counselling

Support groups connect you with others navigating similar losses. These groups create space where you can speak openly without explaining yourself, where others truly understand what you’re experiencing, and where you learn practical coping strategies from people further along in their grief journey. Bereavement support groups meet in person or online, often organised through hospitals, hospices, religious organisations, or charities. Cruse Bereavement Support offers both group meetings and one-to-one support across the UK.

Professional counselling provides focused time with someone trained to help people work through grief. Therapists who specialise in bereavement can help when what helps with grief feels unclear or when your grief becomes complicated. You can access NHS talking therapies by self-referring through your local service without seeing a GP first. Private counsellors offer another option if NHS waiting times feel too long or if you prefer more control over timing and approach.

Use these conversation starters when asking for support

Specific requests work better than hoping people will know what you need:

• "I need help with practical things like shopping and cooking this week. Can you bring a meal on Tuesday?"
• "Would you come to the solicitor appointment with me? I can’t face the paperwork alone."
• "Can we talk about something completely unrelated to death? I need mental space from grief."
• "I want to talk about them without you trying to cheer me up. Will you just listen?"
• "Please check on me regularly, even when I don’t respond. Knowing you’re thinking of me helps."

Step 4. Create personal ways to remember and honour

Creating your own rituals and ways to remember the person who died helps you maintain connection whilst acknowledging they’re gone. Many people exploring what helps with grief find that personal acts of remembrance provide comfort and purpose during difficult moments. These don’t need to follow traditional funeral customs or match what others expect. The rituals that help most are ones that feel meaningful to you, whether they’re private moments or shared experiences with others who loved the person.

Design simple rituals that bring comfort

Regular small actions create ongoing connection without requiring elaborate planning. You might light a candle on difficult days, visit a place you shared together, or cook their favourite meal on their birthday. Some people find comfort in talking to the person who died, either out loud, in writing, or silently in their thoughts. Whatever feels natural to you works, even if it seems unusual to others.

Try these practical ideas to create your own remembrance rituals:

• Write letters to the person who died when you need to share thoughts with them
• Plant a tree, bush, or garden in their memory that you tend regularly
• Donate to causes they cared about or volunteer in their name
• Listen to music they loved or watch films you enjoyed together
• Wear their jewellery, clothing, or keep an item that reminds you of them close
• Create a photo display or memory box you can revisit when you need connection
• Mark significant dates (birthday, anniversary, death date) in ways that honour them

Keep tangible reminders that support your grief

Physical objects and creative projects help you process loss whilst creating something meaningful. A memory book, photo album, or digital slideshow lets you gather stories, pictures, and moments you want to preserve. Recording your thoughts and feelings in a journal provides space to express emotions you can’t share elsewhere and helps you track your grief journey over time.

Consider these specific memory-keeping projects if they appeal to you:

Project Type	What It Involves	Why It Helps
Memory jar	Write favourite memories on slips of paper, read one when you need comfort	Creates positive focus during difficult moments
Recipe collection	Gather their recipes or dishes they loved, cook them regularly	Maintains connection through familiar tastes and activities
Photo collage or album	Organise pictures chronologically or by theme	Provides structured way to revisit positive memories
Voice or video recordings	Compile messages, voicemails, or videos you have	Preserves their voice and mannerisms you might otherwise forget

Remembering doesn’t mean refusing to move forward. It means carrying them with you as you continue living.

Step 5. Know when to seek extra or urgent help

Most grief follows a natural path that gradually becomes less intense over time, but some situations require professional support or urgent intervention. Recognizing when what helps with grief needs to include expert guidance protects your wellbeing and prevents complications. Professional help doesn’t mean you’re failing at grieving or somehow doing it wrong. It means you’re taking appropriate action when the load becomes too heavy to carry alone or when specific warning signs appear.

Signs that professional help would benefit you

Complicated grief develops when intense pain persists without lessening for many months, preventing you from returning to any semblance of normal life. Watch for these specific indicators that professional support would help:

• Grief remains overwhelming after six months with no periods of relief or improvement
• You cannot accept the death occurred or constantly search for the person in familiar places
• Daily activities remain impossible to manage (personal hygiene, eating, leaving the house)
• Relationships suffer because you’ve withdrawn completely from friends and family
• You rely on alcohol or drugs to numb emotional pain or get through each day
• Physical health declines significantly due to neglect or grief-related illness
• You feel stuck in anger, guilt, or another single emotion without any movement forward

Contact your GP to discuss these symptoms. They can refer you to appropriate bereavement counselling services or mental health support. NHS talking therapies offer cognitive behavioural therapy specifically adapted for complicated grief. Many people benefit from structured professional support whilst maintaining other coping strategies that work for them.

Professional support gives you tools and perspective that friends, however caring, cannot provide.

When grief becomes a mental health emergency

Seek immediate help if grief triggers thoughts about harming yourself or makes life feel not worth living. These feelings sometimes emerge when grief becomes overwhelming, particularly after sudden or traumatic deaths. Suicidal thoughts represent a medical emergency, not a character flaw or permanent state of mind.

Take these specific actions when you or someone you know experiences a crisis:

1. Call 999 immediately if you’ve harmed yourself or taken steps toward suicide
2. Go to A&E or ask someone to drive you there if you feel unable to keep yourself safe
3. Call the Samaritans on 116 123 (available 24 hours) to talk with someone trained in crisis support
4. Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential support via text message
5. Contact your GP surgery and explain it’s urgent if you need same-day mental health support
6. Call 111 and select the mental health option if you need guidance but it’s not an immediate emergency

Keep these contact numbers saved in your phone now whilst you’re thinking clearly, not when you’re in crisis. Share them with family members or close friends so they know how to help if you reach a breaking point. Mental health emergencies deserve the same serious response as physical medical emergencies.

Extra tools and ideas that can help you cope

Additional strategies and resources complement the core steps already covered, giving you more options when what helps with grief needs variety or when specific approaches don’t fit your situation. These tools range from creative activities to digital resources, each offering different ways to process loss and find moments of relief. Experiment with several options rather than expecting one perfect solution, as your needs change throughout your grief journey.

Try creative outlets that help express emotions

Creative activities give you ways to express feelings that words cannot capture. Art, music, writing, and craft projects let you process grief without needing to articulate exactly what you’re experiencing. You don’t need artistic skill or experience for these activities to help. The process matters more than the result.

Consider these specific creative approaches based on your preferences:

• Writing: Journal freely without structure, write poetry, or compose letters to your loved one
• Visual art: Paint, draw, create collages, or make scrapbooks using photos and mementos
• Music: Play an instrument, sing, create playlists that match your emotional state, or attend concerts
• Crafts: Knit, sew, woodwork, pottery, or other hands-on projects that require focus
• Movement: Dance expressively to music that moves you without concern for technique

Creative expression transforms invisible pain into something tangible you can see, touch, or hear.

Use practical resources designed for grief

Free digital resources provide support you can access immediately from home. The NHS offers mental wellbeing audio guides that include meditations and exercises specifically for difficult emotions. Bereavement charities provide downloadable booklets, worksheets, and information sheets that explain grief and offer coping strategies.

Books about grief help you understand your experience and feel less alone. Libraries stock numerous bereavement titles, or you can find highly-rated grief books through major retailers. Audio books work well if reading feels too difficult when you’re struggling to concentrate.

Moving forward with support

Grief changes over time, but it never follows a predictable schedule. What helps with grief today might not work tomorrow, and strategies that feel impossible now might bring comfort later. You’ve learned practical steps to support yourself physically, emotionally, and socially whilst navigating this difficult journey. Use what resonates with you and set aside what doesn’t fit your experience or needs. Your grief belongs to you alone, and you get to choose which tools and approaches feel right at any given moment.

Remember that asking for help demonstrates strength, not weakness. Whether you connect with friends who understand your loss, join a support group, speak with a counsellor, or reach out during crisis moments, you’re taking active steps toward healing rather than suffering alone.

If you’re also managing funeral arrangements or cremation decisions whilst grieving, choosing a straightforward, dignified option can ease the burden during this overwhelming time. Direct cremation services offer a simple alternative that gives you space to focus on your grief and plan meaningful remembrance in your own time, without the pressure of traditional ceremonies.